Dead Woman Walking: An Unsolicited Review of Young Adult

While I am straddling the age of having an opinion that matters and being forced to watch CBS only programming, I would like to spew my distaste for Young Adult. Forgetting anything you think about Diablo Cody, assuming you do, please know that I had advance screening passes for this film, such was my excitement. But my apathy won out and I waited three whole weeks for it to end up on the Internet. A premise of an adult who possesses the emotional maturity of a teenager. But not a quirky Hollywood fast-talking teenager, but a selfish, shallow, grown up with issues. This can all be surmised from the trailer because she is wearing a Hello Kitty shirt. And eating at a KFC. To contrast her flightiness and her totally realistic goal of breaking up her married with child ex-boyfriend of oh let's say a decade, we have Patton Oswalt. Patton Oswalt is a comedian who is overweight, enjoys geekery, and seems content with typecasting. His character has crutches because some jocks in high school beat him up because they thought he was gay. Talk about your high and low comedy. The movie is predictable in manners, because the characters are written in such a way as to envelop you in the verisimilitude of suck that is modern life. The most upsetting part of this movie is not that shitty kids grow into shitty adults, it is a scene in which Patton Oswalt talks about how Charlize Theron ignored him in the best years of his life. He says, "Guys like me were born to love girls like you" and they have cheap, drunk sex because Charlize Theron is a bitch. Couldnt give any integrity to the crippled non-fag? He couldnt turn her down? Bitterness and integrity are side by side, almost like being in love.

Which brings me to reception of this film on Facebook, which seems to be glowing.  When middle-aged suburbanites have to lie about relating to a character that is grotesquely narcissistic, the great sadness of dysfunction widens into a galaxy. This galaxy is not only at an uncomfortably close distance, but contains everything from I feel nothing "ambivacore/wannabe cutters/failed nihilists (or English majors)" to the "I feel everything with the intensity of 100 hits of acid and the first Strokes LP". Our generation clings to the notion of Arrested Development, not just because the show was an indie smash I hope, but the genuine desire to prolong adolescence until death. A recursive nostalgia loop in which we realize a satire of a satire of a satire is not an art-form but a coroner's report.

1 comment:

  1. Bravo! You should write reviews more often, love your style!